crystal failure.
i'm pretty sure the physical therapist i saw on tuesday helped fix me. i'm hesitant to declare being completely 100% better, in part because i'm not there just yet, but the vertigo is gone (yay!) and the other icky balance-related problems are subsiding. i'm very hopeful that i'll be totally well soon.
physical therapist woman was very nice but she did scare the hell out of me by saying i should probably have an MRI to make sure my brain is okay. when i asked her what could be wrong with my brain (i'm very sensitive about brains; could we please not talk about them? mine especially?) she said she didn't want to say anything else because she didn't want to scare me. too late. sufficiently freaked out. she said it was just a precaution and she doesn't think i have a brain tumor. i don't, either. of all the things i think i could have, a brain tumor definitely is not on that list. hypochondria? sure. brain tumor, not so much, if only because the latter negates the former and since i clearly have hypochondria i cannot have a tumor. hello, logic.
after she was done scaring me she ran some rather unpleasant tests to verify that my inner ear is jacked up. these tests wouldn't have been unpleasant if my inner ear were fine but since it's not they made me all kinds of dizzy. also, based on the tests she doesn't think i have a brain tumor (told you so). these are both good things and the best part was that since she could tell that i had vertigo she could fix it, which she did. i was impressed. because the ear nose and throat doctor i saw two weeks ago? he told me what was wrong with me and then didn't do anything about it. this is why i reserve a special place in my heart for most doctors, right next to satan and george w. bush.
just kidding. mostly.
once she had physical therapied my head i had to keep it still for two days. the explanation for what she did to my head is relatively simple: the calcium carbonate particles in my ears, the things that essentially keep you balanced, were knocked out of place and my brain was misinterpreting this as me spinning around in circles any time i made a sudden movement. so she moved me around really quickly to get them back into their proper place, and then i had to stay still to let them settle.
i explained this to susan and that conversation didn't go so well, i think because i used the word crystals instead of particles. she immediately became suspicious.
susan: crystals? are you sure this isn't some kind of new agey crap?
me: um, no, it's real.
susan: but crystals? are you sure these things exist?
me: yes. i promise. they're in your inner ear. you just can't see them. they're tiny.
susan: i don't know if i believe that.
me: are you sure evolution really happened? you can't see it, either.
this conversation happened before we'd had coffee or breakfast and we should know by now that it's a bad idea for us to speak to each other before she's had coffee and i've eaten. also, i made a mental note never to use the word crystals around susan again. now i call them calcium carbonate particles. she seems more accepting of that. what's funny is that she never doubted i was having balance issues but she doubts the scientifically proven cause of the problem.
so i kept my head immobile for two days, during which i spent a lot of time looking very unnatural and perhaps complaining a bit. i had to keep my head propped up at night by sleeping on several pillows and i couldn't turn onto my right side. this does not make for good sleep. when i moved at all i had to move my head and the rest of my body as one entity, a la frankenstein. as of yesterday afternoon i could move my head again like a normal person--and the vertigo was gone. this is a huge improvement. i've had this stupid problem on and off for nearly 20 years, and i'm v. impressed that doctor woman made it go away. this is good. i'm now able to drive/ride in a car without wanting to die, which means now i can work again.
next up: finding a job.
physical therapist woman was very nice but she did scare the hell out of me by saying i should probably have an MRI to make sure my brain is okay. when i asked her what could be wrong with my brain (i'm very sensitive about brains; could we please not talk about them? mine especially?) she said she didn't want to say anything else because she didn't want to scare me. too late. sufficiently freaked out. she said it was just a precaution and she doesn't think i have a brain tumor. i don't, either. of all the things i think i could have, a brain tumor definitely is not on that list. hypochondria? sure. brain tumor, not so much, if only because the latter negates the former and since i clearly have hypochondria i cannot have a tumor. hello, logic.
after she was done scaring me she ran some rather unpleasant tests to verify that my inner ear is jacked up. these tests wouldn't have been unpleasant if my inner ear were fine but since it's not they made me all kinds of dizzy. also, based on the tests she doesn't think i have a brain tumor (told you so). these are both good things and the best part was that since she could tell that i had vertigo she could fix it, which she did. i was impressed. because the ear nose and throat doctor i saw two weeks ago? he told me what was wrong with me and then didn't do anything about it. this is why i reserve a special place in my heart for most doctors, right next to satan and george w. bush.
just kidding. mostly.
once she had physical therapied my head i had to keep it still for two days. the explanation for what she did to my head is relatively simple: the calcium carbonate particles in my ears, the things that essentially keep you balanced, were knocked out of place and my brain was misinterpreting this as me spinning around in circles any time i made a sudden movement. so she moved me around really quickly to get them back into their proper place, and then i had to stay still to let them settle.
i explained this to susan and that conversation didn't go so well, i think because i used the word crystals instead of particles. she immediately became suspicious.
susan: crystals? are you sure this isn't some kind of new agey crap?
me: um, no, it's real.
susan: but crystals? are you sure these things exist?
me: yes. i promise. they're in your inner ear. you just can't see them. they're tiny.
susan: i don't know if i believe that.
me: are you sure evolution really happened? you can't see it, either.
this conversation happened before we'd had coffee or breakfast and we should know by now that it's a bad idea for us to speak to each other before she's had coffee and i've eaten. also, i made a mental note never to use the word crystals around susan again. now i call them calcium carbonate particles. she seems more accepting of that. what's funny is that she never doubted i was having balance issues but she doubts the scientifically proven cause of the problem.
so i kept my head immobile for two days, during which i spent a lot of time looking very unnatural and perhaps complaining a bit. i had to keep my head propped up at night by sleeping on several pillows and i couldn't turn onto my right side. this does not make for good sleep. when i moved at all i had to move my head and the rest of my body as one entity, a la frankenstein. as of yesterday afternoon i could move my head again like a normal person--and the vertigo was gone. this is a huge improvement. i've had this stupid problem on and off for nearly 20 years, and i'm v. impressed that doctor woman made it go away. this is good. i'm now able to drive/ride in a car without wanting to die, which means now i can work again.
next up: finding a job.
posted by sarah at 11:42 AM
2 Comments:
RE: physical therapied my head
This is why you need to keep blogging. Doesn't get any better.
Hey, I could use your help adding to my list of "Why Bush is a bad president" on my last post. If you have a few minutes.
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