the faux fur bonanza.
this evening alvin and i went to dinner with my sister at the olive garden. i slightly embarrassed myself by telling the server dude that i don't like parmesan cheese because it smells like feet. that conversation went like this:
me: does the chicken alfredo have parmesan in it?
server dude: uh, yeah. it's alfredo. are you allergic to it or something?
me: no, i don't like it. it smells like feet.
(server dude looks horrified.)
me: i didn't just traumatize you by saying that, did i?
server dude: i want my mommy! mommy!!
and i thought i was weird.
so after gorging myself on parmesan-free bread and pasta and more bread (mmmm, carbs) we went shopping at mervyn's because they're only half a parking lot away from olive garden. also, an icy rain was starting to fall and shopping is what alvin and i do in cold, inclement weather, particularly if we have to drive to get there.
mervyn's claims that they're going out of business and that they're having huge sales. i believe the going out of business part--they're even selling the tables that they displayed merchandise on, and oh my god their crappy tables are expensive--but they're completely lying about the huge savings bit because i paid what i normally would pay for the two sweaters i bought. the part of my brain that can't do math and doesn't mind being lied to justified the sweater purchases because i was cold. did i mention it was 31 degrees outside? yeah, it was cold like that.
alvin doesn't usually like to shop but he, too, was mesmerized by the savings lies. he showed me the pillows and blankets that we could save 30% on (or we could not buy them and save 100%) and we ended up getting a lovely new comforter that came with pillow shams and a bed skirt. it doesn't entirely match the color scheme in our bedroom but i'm ignoring that right now. it was too pretty and too much on sale to pass up.
and then he took me to the bin of fur blankets, or, as he called it: the faux fur bonanza. alvin's got this thing for fake fur that i will never understand, and the only thing that stopped us from buying a faux fur blanket was that they were fucking overpriced. mervyn's apparently thinks that since they are going out of business they have temporarily joined the ranks of neiman marcus or saks, and they have adjusted their prices accordingly. the upside is that i see right through their lies, plus my new comforter is shiny pretty and i have a new sweater to wear tomorrow.
me: does the chicken alfredo have parmesan in it?
server dude: uh, yeah. it's alfredo. are you allergic to it or something?
me: no, i don't like it. it smells like feet.
(server dude looks horrified.)
me: i didn't just traumatize you by saying that, did i?
server dude: i want my mommy! mommy!!
and i thought i was weird.
so after gorging myself on parmesan-free bread and pasta and more bread (mmmm, carbs) we went shopping at mervyn's because they're only half a parking lot away from olive garden. also, an icy rain was starting to fall and shopping is what alvin and i do in cold, inclement weather, particularly if we have to drive to get there.
mervyn's claims that they're going out of business and that they're having huge sales. i believe the going out of business part--they're even selling the tables that they displayed merchandise on, and oh my god their crappy tables are expensive--but they're completely lying about the huge savings bit because i paid what i normally would pay for the two sweaters i bought. the part of my brain that can't do math and doesn't mind being lied to justified the sweater purchases because i was cold. did i mention it was 31 degrees outside? yeah, it was cold like that.
alvin doesn't usually like to shop but he, too, was mesmerized by the savings lies. he showed me the pillows and blankets that we could save 30% on (or we could not buy them and save 100%) and we ended up getting a lovely new comforter that came with pillow shams and a bed skirt. it doesn't entirely match the color scheme in our bedroom but i'm ignoring that right now. it was too pretty and too much on sale to pass up.
and then he took me to the bin of fur blankets, or, as he called it: the faux fur bonanza. alvin's got this thing for fake fur that i will never understand, and the only thing that stopped us from buying a faux fur blanket was that they were fucking overpriced. mervyn's apparently thinks that since they are going out of business they have temporarily joined the ranks of neiman marcus or saks, and they have adjusted their prices accordingly. the upside is that i see right through their lies, plus my new comforter is shiny pretty and i have a new sweater to wear tomorrow.
posted by sarah at 6:32 PM
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