a really stupid story in which i use the phrases fuzzy monkey ass and HRMS to prove that they're totally applicable to everything.

yesterday evening alvin and i were walking from the house to the car to go get dinner, which normally involves a pleasant and non-treacherous walk through the yard. when we leave the house the dogs can often be found playing in the yard like this: big dog humps beagle dog, and beagle dog chews on big dog's ears. they enjoy it. they were playing like this last night.

so we were walking from the house to the car and the dog tornado came roaring at me from out of nowhere. they were kind of tumbling around, i guess, but i didn't see what they were doing exactly. all i know is that it ended in painfulness that continues to hurt.

alvin says they were running around playing and that when big dog saw he was about to run into me, he tried to change direction. unfortunately, beagle dog was attached to him (chewing on his ears, perhaps) and the momentum of his 85-pound dog body didn't allow him to stop the dog tornado in time. so they both ran into me at full speed, and my legs pretty much fell out from underneath me. i landed on my knees. this was actually a good thing, because last time i fell and used my hand to stop the fall i sprained my wrist (the pain from that fall was so bad that it caused me to throw things across the room, which really didn't stop the pain). this wasn't quite as bad, but i skinned and bruised my knees. i didn't cry, even though i really wanted to, because we were on our way to dinner and i didn't want to look like fuzzy monkey ass.

i later realized that in the process of falling i apparently tensed my shoulder and neck muscles and now they HURT. i put icy hot on my neck and took some liquid crack, but the pain hasn't gone away yet. i frequently pull my neck and shoulder muscles so i'm kind of used to this, but still. you would think that i could have at least hurt myself by having hot raunchy monkey sex or by doing something interesting. but no, my dogs knocked me over. the only good thing to say about that is: 1. i didn't land in a pile of dog crap and 2. they felt bad about it afterwards (i could tell because they quit playing and acted remorseful, as they should).