for those times when i can't think of anything original to say.

• Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
• Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.
• If you think things can't get worse it's probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.
• You can't be late until you show up.
• Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
• The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
• Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.