transcendence.

i'm really going to regret being in the habit of staying awake until 3 a.m. and sleeping until noon when my 8 a.m. classes start next week.

meanwhile, i'm waiting for the bad feelings to go away. i sekritly hope they'll sneak out the window one night while i'm asleep, but no. there seems to be a fine line between dealing with everything and staying busy so i don't have to think unpleasant thoughts, and i don't know how to achieve a balance between what seems to be avoidance and wallowing in self pity. i should probably do whatever seems okay, but right now nothing seems okay, and that? that just sounds like i'm being whiny again. i wish i could fast forward a few years, wake up one day when i'm 30 and magically have all this shit figured out. i have goals i'd like to meet by then, the perhaps most important one having to do with avoiding becoming emotionally invested in relationships that aren't viable. i am so done with that.